My new favorite commercial of all time
I'm not sure how to have the video right on here, but just go to that link.
How did we once live without youtube?
title.
I hate this lack of control feeling. So much shit is just happening around me and I don't feel like I have any say in anything. My self esteem can't take any more blows. Every little lift is just crushed by something far worse. And I sit here and think about things and they really are not so bad. But they are. It's all I've got.
Since summer I've been questioning why I'm in college. I want to quit, or take time off. I don't know. I thought taking 5 classes and joining more stuff would be a good idea, but it is just making me more miserable.
I do not have a clear head to write. I don't think I ever do or ever will. I'm so frustrated, and I keep waiting for something good to happen and nothing does. Even when I try to take things into my own hands things suck. I feel like I'm so insignificant and unimportant and I wish I knew what my purpose was.
I want to be home so bad. I feel like I've been growing apart from my dad. I want to call and talk to everyone but I feel like they are always mad at me when I'm at school because I don't always call and that I've left them all behind. Its so weird. I don't think I could call them without just crying right now, and I don't feel like having to explain that.
I was invited to go out to dinner tonight but I really don't think I can do it. I'd rather just wallow in my room. I don't want to make new friends right now.
stress
I need a good way to destress. I always let things get me all worked up, and yes some of them are things that are worthy to be worked up over but most of them are just stupid.
Oy.
Serenity now? haha I actually kind of hate Seinfeld.
shhh
I am in love with Justin Timberlake's new song. And I think he is hot. It's only slightly embarassing.
This weekend was amazing. Friday night was the foam dance party (yes, our school throws this). I only almost died once so it was pretty fun. And then last night was Angles and lots of fun there and back of course too. Today was pretty boring and I didn't do as much homework as I should have but I really really really cannot stand reading my textbooks. Especially for social context. I am so confused by it that I can't focus or it takes me forever to read one page and even then I still don't get it. I'm really afraid for this class, but I'm kind of hoping that one day I will just go aha and everything will magically click and make sense. At least we dont have that class 2 days this week. Although I do need to meet with my group and find some time to go to court in the next two weeks.
OooOo! I may be working a day at the info desk, which would also make me eligable to be a sub which is sweet because I only have 4 hours a week as of right now and that is not enough, especially when I am so broke it is not even funny. But I think I am done for real when it comes to spending. I bought a few books, a chair, and a new shirt and that is it. No more. I need to replenish my bank account and hopefully at least pay for the rest of my books. Ugh I effin hate money so much.
Ok so tomorrow is busy to the max. Class, Class, awkward break, Class, awkward break, work, meeting, meeting, freedom but I need to do hw and laundry. So nighttime isnt too bad but busy during the day.
I smoked last night :/ and today all I wanted was another... but I'll pull through... cause its a habit I cant afford in more than one way.
Phew
I've been so busy this week.
It's amazing that the number one talked about things this week were probably the death of Steve Irwin and the new facebook layout. Kind of sad.
Old buisness- since no one voted, I declare Paris the winner. She would have went against Fergie in round 3 by my standards, and that London bridge song is just retarded.
Anywho, it is Friday. I have work in about 40 minutes until 4 and then it is finally the weekend.